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Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Terminology
With all the recent turmoli in the financial/stock markets and the reporting of the same by the mainstream media, there may be those out there that need a basic primer course in investor terminology.
Being the benevolent soul and caring individual that I am I hereby present the following for your review:
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CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer
Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor
to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market: A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
toys, the wife gets no gifts and the husband doesn't get any ???
Value investing: The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E Ratio: The percentage of investors wetting their pants
as the market keeps crashing.
Broker: What your broker has made you into.
Standard & Poor: Your life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst: The idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock Split: When you ex-wife and her lawyer split your
assets equally between themselves.
Market Correction: What happens the day after you buy
stocks.
Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears
down the toilet.
Yahoo: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
for $240 per share.
Windows: What you jump out of when you're the sucker who
bought Yahoo at $240 per share.
Institutional investor: Last year's investor who is now
locked up in a nuthouse.
401K: What your retirement account should be worth instead
of 401c (cents)
Profit: An archaic word no longer in use
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If you got any I may have overlooked, lemme know!
