Wherin I rescue damsels in distress and gripe

We got ourselves a real winter here in Michigan this year. Huge amounts of snow, super cold to boot. Man, this global warming just sucks don't it? However it is perfect hot tubbing weather! You know, I don't know whats worse. Tom Cruise getting sucked in and bamboozled by cult of Scientology or Al Gore getting sucked in and bamboozled by the cult of global warming. Both are fanatics about their religions....yes, I said religion. If Tom Cruise is a a prophet for Scientology then Al Gore is the self proclaimed Pope for global warming. Anybody that dares criticize the official church doctrine of Scientology or global warming, is threatened with destruction. Only a false religion needs hate mail, angry threats, courts of inquisition and Hollywood movies, actors and other celebrities to sustain it.

I got to be the hero Dad the other day. I got a phone call from my daughters a.k.a Frog, cell about mid afternoon...about the time she get outta school. When I answered I noted the time and so I thought it would be funny, in a typical Dad humor, but to kids a non-funny annoying kinda way, to answer the phone unconventionally. Instead of saying "Hi" I opted for the more sarcastic "What? Did you wreck the car?" Turns out it was not Frog, but her friend, "Special K" who, BTW, had driven them to school that day. It also turns out that they were deeply embedded in a snow bank....just down the road from school. Not necessarily a car wreck...but close.

Off I went in the Jeep, a.k.a. Hummer Recovery Vehicle a.k.a fish car. The Jeep is always prepared for most situations. It has a first aid kit, jumper cables, tow strap, a shovel, bag of salt/sand mix, blanket, GPS, two way amateur radio, police scanner, fly vest, fly rod, fly reel, matches, lighters, flashlights, toilet paper and courtesy wipes...everything a geeky, nerdy, expert fly fisherman guy like me deserves. It really is astonishing that there is room left for actual passengers.

I arrived at the scene. Engaged the 4X4 and proceeded to inspect the carnage that was the stuck car. They did a right good job, let me tell you. "Special K" drives a POS Ford Escort wagon. All four wheels were of the ground. The car was resting on it's frame. Definitely stuck. Being that the event happened so close to school they all took quite a ribbing from classmates as they all passed by, in cars and buses on their way home. It was not hard to notice them seeing as they had a police cruiser with it strobes flashing in all their glory parked right behind them. Wouldn't you know I forgot the camera! Again! I was in my element. The car was freed from the confines of the snowbank....super dad saves the day! (And I got to use my tow strap again!)

Now, I got a gripe:

Have you ever, when you've gone to the supermarket, used those self checkout lanes? What's up with those anyway? If I'm gonna have to scan all my own groceries, I want to get paid for it. I'm saving the store money by not having a cashier do it...pass on the savings! And to all you technically challenged inept grocery shoppers using The Self-Checkout Lines, Just stop it. All of you.

You, old man with the cart full of groceries. You will die before you scan all of those groceries. You, the old lady, scan your items and pay...you do not need to physically look for the UPC, scan your item, look at the display, look at the price on the product, look at the display again and then place your item in the bagging area. You, the mother of seven uncontrolled children, who are running and screaming while you search and search for the product code for broccoli, They put the code right there, right on the friggen vegetable, you know! And especially you, you group of obnoxious teenagers, who loiter around the machines like you having nothing else to do, step away from the machine!

I have very marginal retail/cashier experience and I get do not get flustered easily. But if I can handle the self-check out - you should, too! It's a simple thing. I swear, I can’t take it any longer. Whoever thought self-check out would be a wonderful, wonderful thing - you know, a taste of the future, your an idiot. You need to get slapped upside the head.